Monday, June 23, 2008
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.